Not even you have to.

Getting up is just something normal people do.

Looking presentable is just a useless formality.

Sleeping is an escape, but I'll be damned if going to bed is anything but Hell.

Is eating even really a necessity?

If the days mattered then they wouldn't blur together this way.

If I had something better to do, don't you think I'd be doing it?

Oh yes, you've got me figured out so well--
remaining strapped inside this prison is something I enjoy.

... I'm waiting for someone to tell me,

"No one has to live this way..."

in a way that I can actually believe...

(But it would take a miracle for me to have that sort of faith...)

________________

You're going about it all wrong, Love. 

No one can give you the hope that you crucify over
and over
and over
in your mind with each cruel day.

Today, it's a lie that things will get better.

Tomorrow, it may still be a lie that things will get better.

But someday to come, if you tell yourself you are going to change your condemnation,
if you tell yourself you are going to leave the place misery runs away to for torment...
Someday to come, it's going to become the truth. 

And oh yeah,

This is gonna hurt. 

Yeah, this is gonna damn near kill you. 

... But aren't you the one who said you have nothing to lose?
You've gotta make a decision:
Start today, or live and die this way.

Life will ALWAYS try to force you into relentless tumbling.

If it feels like you'll never find your balance
to stand against the relentless tumbling life will always try to force you into, 

Pick up your titanium breastplate,
square up your shoulders,
and take your next step towards victory--no matter how small the change.

If you don't try now then the possibility of success does not even exist.

And if you're lost, and don't know where to start... (Yeah, aren't we all?) 

Start practicing for the hardest day of your life,
or when it comes you might not be ready...
As helpless against this game's ravaging currents as you've ever been.

Do you know how to say,

I want you in my life...

Baby, please don't go--

Have you ever seen...

It's rare, that one should walk among us.

There is no better way to disguise something heavenly than to burden it with hellish baggage, looping bags of self loathing over each arm, layering packs of self doubt upon its back, tying sacks of sourceless guilt around its waist, and strapping pouches of silent thoughtfulness around its ankles. Yet somehow, all of this cannot stop the divinity from seeping into everyone and everything around it.

... Have you ever seen an Angel of Solace?

Fall

He stumbles under the weight of his own darkness,
unaware that light pours out of the footprints he leaves behind him.
He cries, crushed by the gravity of his own pain,
unaware that for every tear, he has given away hundreds of smiles.
He fights alone against the pressure of this cruel world,
unaware that she is dancing in the sunshine behind him, grinning and calling out to him.

... Sometimes an angel has to fall to realize they were in heaven.

(inspired/last line by Orynne)

beautiful

Sometimes, I think about how you used to make me feel: ... Beautiful.
... But nowadays when I look in the mirror, I don't feel beautiful at all.

Maybe I should stop thinking about how you made me feel...

Fuck pride

I've always said I'd prefer the truth--
partially because it's always been given to me,
and partially because I can't stand the idea of being ignorant.
... But now just to survive I'm going to have to accept the blissful spoonful of lies.
I'm not strong enough to take on the truth and reach after you at the same time.
So here I am... A coward.

... Fuck pride!
I will grovel on my hands and knees,
if only I can look up to you with these tearful, loving eyes

the best time to love

When do you think it's the best time to love someone?

When they are on top of everything,
being the best they can be,
finally accomplishing their dreams,
finding love in every nook of this world,
and smiling upon you with their kindest gaze?

Or when they are backed into a corner,
groveling at your feet,
snarling in your face,
blind to all the right opportunities,
forced to do wrong by you just to survive?